3am, here I sit. Utterly exhausted but too many thoughts are swirling around in my mind to sleep.
Wonder if Bryan is awake…nah, I won’t chance it. He deserves to sleep even if my stress is all his fault. Yep, his fault.
He is the one that joined the Air Force after all.
Or maybe it was I who married him after he joined the Air Force. Oh well, it is still ALL his fault :).
(Please note the sarcasm, before everyone and their mother decides to flame me. I am joking and I won’t approve rude comments, so don’t waste your time.)
I realized the other day that by the time this whole retraining/PCS is done with, we will have lived in upheaval for a year. A year. That is a long time, even for miltary life. Going into this, I knew it would be a long transition but I guess it really didn’t sink into me just how long and now that it has sunk in, I am feeling the stress. Even though I entitled the post 28 days, that is ONLY until we actually hit the road for Vegas, not everything that still has to be done on the flip side. Oh and let’s not mention all that still has not gotten done on this side. There is only one word for me lately.
Or maybe two words.
When Bryan got orders for this current TDY, the assumption was that pretty much all the PCS prep would be on my plate because by the time he finally got home, there would only be a week before we hit the road to Vegas. Only enough time to outprocess and supervise the packers while they hopefully safely package up and ship our household goods. Well, things changed. Bryan would be coming home early, we just didn’t/don’t know how early (was supposed to be yesterday and now is Thursday at the earliest…grr). Anyway, this got me in the mindset that I could wait for him to help me with the rest of the to do list. Sure, that seems like it would help, taking part of the load off me but in turn it simply has me more stressed because there are still too many things on the to do list not checked off for my liking and less time to do them.
Do you ever have so much to do though that you don’t know where exactly to begin?
Yeah, that’s me.
I really hope after my last 4 days of work this week that some of the stress will leave, but I doubt it. Yoga has done wonders for my mood/sense of peace but I am still a type A, high strung individual and that may never change.
I think part of it too is that this move is so different from any of the rest that we have ever done. This time, we plan to buy a house which throws a whole new set of stresses in the mix. Will we get good rates? Will we even find a house that we like before J needs to start school? Will we find a house with good schools (schools in Las Vegas REALLY scare me and we can’t afford the $15-20K, yes, grand, a year for private)? Do we even have a clue as to what we are doing as first-time homebuyers?
I do a lot of that lately.