Here lately, I have been stressing about everything (although the changes I blogged about have been helping). The move, my job, the TDY, my health, buying a house, making new friends, leaving old ones, Vegas schools, crime, etc, etc.
The biggest I think though lately is my self image and self expectations. I am mad at myself for gaining 10 pounds back from my lowest that I worked so hard to get to. I am mad at myself for not being able to get past 4 miles running when I was up to 6 regularly last year. I am frustrated at being tired all the time and letting the sugar addiction back in.
Today, I was listening to Sirius – The Message on the way to base and Johnny Diaz’s “More Beautiful You” came on. Can we say reality check?! I am adding more stress to my plate by being mad about all these things when I really need to step back and focus on the big picture.
For starters, I have went from this…
Even if I never get those 10 pounds BACK off, I have come a very LONG way.
And, as for the running, I just need to accept that I have cancer and while that may not cripple me, there will be days I can only make 1 mile and there may be days I can make 6. I need to enjoy it again, instead of beating myself up that I didn’t go far enough or fast enough. Who am I running for anyway? Myself or someone else?
This is not to say that I will never battle the “beating myself up” battle again. I think we all go through times like that for one reason or another, but we really need to try to step back and focus on what is truly important, the big picture!