rules

Do you ever find yourself following rules that you don’t believe in or agree with or being in a situation where you are expected to follow them? No, I am not talking about life rules or legal rules that make us good people and good citizens. I am talking about mundane rules, that are only put into place because of someone’s insecurities and/or jealousy.

Recently I was put in the position to be expected to follow these type of rules. There is this email list (yes, I know…I should learn that these are the root of all evil…LOL) that once upon a time, I was a very active member of and even eventually became a moderator/co-owner of it. Well, several things happened and I felt there were some bad things happening to the list so I took action in an attempt to prevent them. In those actions, someone got their feathers ruffled and I not only had my mod abilities removed but I was unsubbed. I was hurt, mad and appalled all at the same time if that is possible. That list had been my main list at that point and it had introduced me to my new lifestyle and gotten me through Bryan’s absence. Life goes on though and so do I.

Now, fast forward a few years. Someone else finally realized that maybe I was right in my prediction of trouble on the list and got rid of the trouble. In turn, they asked me back to the list and even though deep down inside I had reservations, I rejoined. I guess I went back expecting that it would be the same as before…that was my first mistake. My second mistake was obviously not reading the welcome letter well enough. The first message I sent through, I broke one of those mundane rules and got nailed for it. Not a friendly reminder of we don’t allow this but a very short and abrupt email of you cannot do this. What was it I did…did I flame someone, did I swear, did I spam…no, I had a link to *my* email list in my signature. Now anyone who has seen my signature, knows how unobtrusive that link is. It is 3 words, not 3 pages of advertisements. So, I cut my losses and unsubbed. It was my fault for missing that rule in the welcome letter and I admitted that.

I know, I know…you are probably thinking that is a stupid thing to unsub over but, I truly believe that if you adhere to rules that you do not agree with or support that you are losing a piece of yourself. There are enough rules in this world that I have no choice over to go along and succumb to the ones I do. I also do not have time to bother with such petty issues.

Do I miss the list, no…do I wish them all the best, of course. It’s just experiences like that, that prove to me where I truly want to be :-).

8 Comments

  1. Valgal

    Lacey, you left a comment on my blog and I just wanted to track you down and say thanks. Anytime I hear that someone is or has been in the same boat I find encouragement. I’m also bipolar ;) It’s always nice to know I’m not alone. Feel free to stop by my blog anytime, lol!

  2. Rose

    Oh gosh I understand. I’ve left a few groups over silly rules or stupid fights. I only have a few groups now but that’s okay because I really just don’t seem to have time for them anymore. Sorry to hear about your experience but if you didn’t leave over this I bet something else would have come up. If they nit pick like that it’s not a supportive group and you don’t need them.

  3. Clara

    I am so sorry to read about your treatment on that list. I have had some experiences like yours from some lists…some are eager to dish it out but just can’t get over the fact that others have opinions also….at least that is what usually happens to me..lol…just remember, be yourself and the right people will come to you and appreciate you for who you are..everyone one else…they are just not worth knowing (((HUGS)))
    sweet wishes
    Clara

  4. Jenn

    Sorry to hear that you went through all that drama. It sounds all too familiar from other lists that I have been on! LOL I feel like those lists that have all these rules/restrictions/guidelines are just looking for trouble, but that’s just me.

    You’re much better off without the drama!!!

  5. Dana

    I think the thing is that when you give someone a little power when they have NEVER had power in their REAL LIFE they take stuff WAY too seriously. I am sorry but you are probably better off!

Thoughts?